Day 303 - Angkor Wat

Angkor wat is pretty spectacular. Right - i have to say that. No choice in the matter. It is. Its big and grand and amazing and everyone knows that. It sprawls itself over what feels like half of cambodia. Almost as many people visit this place as actually live in cambodia. Its a beast when it comes to international top tourist attractions. I'm not disagreeing. BUT (and here it comes)... it was a little bit rubbish.

OK, so from the start. Cambodia is small - so everything is between 2 and 8 hours away from each other. So its no trouble crossing the country. That is when your bus driver remembers to stop the bus so that you can get off and change buses. Ours didn't. After 5 evil hours (it should have been 3), we're dumped at the side of a road and told to get on the next bus to Siem Reap. Which we do. That then takes another 6 hours (it should have been 3 more). It was an horrific journey. Horrific. But we made it.

'Tuk-tuk'ed to our hotel on the advice of two girls who were also stranded on our runaway bus, then we check in and settle down to some Star Movies and pizza. We're in Siem Reap, access town to Angkor Wat, and its beaming with neon. Its not cambodia we're in now. Siem Reap is in fact its own hybrid country. Its got ATMs (which you NEVER see in Cambodia). Its got paved streets (shock!). Its got 24hour street lighting. Its even got traffic lights, pavements, and fast internet. This isn't cambodia as we know it. But its a welcome break.



Anyway, onto the main attraction. Everyone in the entire world who has ever been to Angkor Wat will tell you that you need more than 1 day to explore it. Most people reckon 2 is enough (missing some stuff out) and that 3 days is plenty, but necessary. We went for 5 hours. Its kinda rude. I'm a little ashamed. NOBODY goes for less than a day. Let alone half a day. Its just... not very exciting.

Anyway, 3 days spent in the park is not a prerequisite to seeing the sights. We all got up early (10am), suncreamed up (its scorching hot here) and rode the tuk-tuk across town and into the heart of Angkor Wat. Within minutes we're whizzing past the postcard-beautiful main angkor location, through amazing stone-carved archways and breezing across ornate bridges lined with amazing stone statues. No stopping for these meagre sights. Instead we're dropped right at the base of a huge network of temples called 'Angkor Thom'.



The place is so hot its soul-destroying. And you're made to clamber around. The sound of crickets in the trees gets louder and softer at every turn. Crumbling rocks surround the temples. fenced off areas protect near-extinct ruins. tourists occupy every photo-spot, others queueing politely behind. its grey and lifeless except for a splash of colour from a buddhist monk in orange wandering through the ruins (camera concealed beneath their loin-cloths).



The next hour is spent scrambling around the ruins. Right - they're beautiful. They are. This temple has hundreds of massive faces on it, and its SO BEAUTIFUL. But its not magical. Its not overgrown or falling to bits. Its preserved well. Its maintained. Tourists don't climb the rocky outcrops, and the outcrops - in return - don't break anyone's legs. Its all quite civilised and overcrowded and not at all temple-like. That said - despite being a variety of shades of grey against a blue sky - its actually kinda pretty when you don't have a fat american sitting in your professional-photographer's eye view.





So yeah, we scrurry around the sight, camera armed and ready the whole time. Saw some dressed up cambodians...



...saw some more big faces...



...explored some corridors of amazing carved faces...





...and generally sweated so much that I didn't need to pee for hours. It was SO HOT. we spent more time recovering in the shade than bearing the midday sun here. I was soaked. Anyway, onto more temples...



...and more...



...and some more (Tom's such a poser)...



...before finally we arrive at one dusty dirt track, are pointed down it by our driver, and he calls out "TOMB RAIDER... TOMB RAIDER". We're here. In case you didn't know (i did) old Angelina Jolie has trodden these same wooded dirt-tracks herself just a few years ago when filming the first Tomb Raider film. Am I excited? A little. Not because of angelina jolie. No. Because I've seen what lurks down there. and its nice. The other temples are cool - right - but they're not AMAZING. They're just temples. But what is down here - i know - is gonna be good. And it didn't dissappoint.





Minutes later you're thrown into a temple so overgrown that they're still clearing the trees form the sides of the main temple walls. Some temples have trees growing out of the roofs. Others have tree trucks destroying parts of the temple. roots meander through the brickwork like the temple was built around them, but they weren't. this place is shockingly good quality.







Tom and I escape the crowds to do some tomb-raiding ourselves and wander through the trees for a while in search of something more exciting. We fail miserably. It seems the tourists have cottoned on to where the goods are. But before long we're back exploring (along the predefined route) and taking more photos than our memory cards are happy with. Before long we're both out of battery and memory card space and we trudge back to the tuk-tuk for the final leg of the journey.



Angkor Wat itself is this massive main temple - surrounded by an ENORMOUS man-made moat which I think is mental. getting buddhist monks to dig the moat seems so cruel - they're all so weedy and lifeless. But I guess they wanted to protect they're hard-earned labour. Anyway - the main temple is worth a 30 minute wander, and despite inducing vertigo half-way up, I managed to clamber up the steps and see the impressive view over the rest of the temples.



And that was it. 3 day pass for 20 quid - used up in 5 hours. I'm a bit gutted actually. Angkor Wat was actually the only reason I wanted to come to SE Asia. Its not like I'm dissappointed by the rest of it - i like being here. But it was a mild let-down. But then - most people felt let down a little by Machu Picchu - so I guess it all evens out in the end.

So the next 2 days (which should have been spent at the temples) were flaunted around a posh swimming pool and eating cambodia food and watching Brass Eye episodes and dreaming of coming home and doing nothing and having only enough money to buy World of Warcraft and playing it on Angie's PC until I get a job out of necessity and not personal pride.

And once our 3-day passes were suitably expired we packed up out stuff and prepared for the journey to Bangkok - one which no one looks forward to - apparently. great.

Day 301 - Kratie

Dissentry and rubbish dolphins...



Kratie is a funny one. I'm kinda torn on how I feel about it. First glance, you get a cute TINY village, swinging its feet into the cool waters of the mekong river which looks SO NICE from here. Its hot and humid and lush and green. The soils are rusty brown and the locals are the most beautiful rich brown colour. Its so nice. BUT, it was a bit of a let down. Afraid to say it, but I don't have much to say about this place.



So, we arrive, dropped off outside the usual town market the size of a large blockbuster store supplying all the needs of the town. We wander round and buy more kiddy pyjamas (i love these) before spending the night chatting to new canadian friend chuck (thanks for the canada map mate - and solving the Quebec mystery).

And in the morning we're booked on a trip to go and see the famous kratie DOLPHINS! Freshwater, endangered, WWF sponsored, weird egg-head looking dolphins without the cute nose spike thing, very exciting. But first we pay an extra dollar each to go and swim in the mekong. Its so hot here, all I dream about is swimming.



So, we driving through the outback - flat, vegetated, rusty iron-swamped soils, houses on stilts and cute cambodian kids waving as we pass, and before long we're dropped off and pointed towards the river. "you can swim there?". REALLY? really? its the mekong. Its gross. I'm pretty sure I saw a dog vomiting in there the other day, and you want me to swim in it? OK.



So we wander down, pay some piss-taking little girl a dollar to cross a wooden (toll) bridge. and stand at the shore of the mekong, waiting to dive in. Its so gross. we didn't. we walked on to find somewhere cleaner. Not much luck. In the end I crawled into some small rapids (much to the amusement of the locals who were all diving around without fear of swallowing any of the sick-inducing fluids). Anyway, I had a dip - firmly keeping my head above water - then we wandered back to the car, scared of what diseases just crawled up my ass.



And the extra 4 dollars for the swimming was clearly worth it because our driver then drove 30seconds down the road to the dolphin drop-off point. this country knows how to rip its visitors off. so yeah, minutes later we're on a boat swanning across the mekong searching for these amazing dolphins. expecting some dolphin stroking action. expecting some good photos. expecting something wicked.



but it didn't deliver. the bastard dolphins are (a) scared of the boats so are (b) too far away to see and (c) its so hot we can't concentrate on them appearing randomly every 2 minutes for just a brief chug of air, so we lose interest, throw our feet of the side of the boat and dream of swimming in the vile puke that is the mekong.



Its a shame. I mean, it was nice being on a boat (i LOVE boat trips) but the dolphins were rubbish and the whole thing was overpriced. Gutted. And I'm so desperate to swim to rid myself of the evil sweat that is destroying all my clothes, I convince the driver to take us to a swimming spot and jump in regardless of whichever parasites are clawing their way under my flesh.







We're treated to a quick trip to a buddhist monastry, which is nice as well, although there's too many steps. steps everywhere. its like climbing everest. anyway, its kinda cute, although unfinished. some female monk (monkess?) tells me off for taking photos of a mural with naked women being eating out by dogs - she makes me delete the photo but I took another one. check this out...



and then we headed back to the hotel, watched zoolander, and sweated the night away in our un-air-conditioned bedroom. sick. ready for the morning, which would bring an exciting 10-hour journey to Siem Reap, home of Angkor Wat. 10 hours? that's nothing. i can do that in my sleep. in fact - i do do that in my sleep.

Day 297 - The Shooting Range, Phnom Penh

Happiness is a warm gun...



So, we're back in Phnom Penh. The journey was classic cambodian - late arrival, slow, seats too narrow (cambodia people have tiny skeletons it seems), air con too cold, and it stopped at every tiny hut we passed. And despite only being a 2.5hour journey, it took us over 4hours and dragged on into eternity. But we made it off the bus, to a hostel and before long we were eating pizza and curry and goofing around with the street kids like their our old friends. Its great to be back.



Now, when we were here before, we all decided against the opportunity to visit a shooting range. Here's the thing - Phnom Penh has a small surplus of weapons, from the end of the Khmer Rouge's reign. And some very industrious cambodians have set up firing ranges where you can pay $30 to fire a magazine of machine gun bullets at a target. Honestly, its not something I really like the idea of. I'm not into guns, or their power that much. I'll happily blow someone's head off in Grand Theft Auto, but I think its a bit weird paying to shoot one, and I'm a bit scared of the danger involved. I know - i'm a wimp. that's me.

But anyway, before when we were here, eve RELUCTANTLY agreed not to go to the shooting range. this time, she's going. and she's going wild with excitement. so we pay our tuk-tuk driver, who bombs us 30minutes into the suburbs of Phnom Penh. Its a bit eerie - we're driving down dirt roads, past military training grounds, abandoned kids playgrounds, old stinking lakes filled with rubbish bags and brown water. We're getting further from civilisation and its intimidating. We're going to a place where we know that they have guns. with our digital cameras and dollars. this is wrong.





But then we arrived, and the smiling workers greet us and thrust a 'menu' into our hands. The walls are lined with real guns - massive machine guns, shotguns, pistols, revolvers, everything. Some are huge. Some are tiny. I pick one up, point it at my mouth and take a photo. The guy comes over and very strictly tells me that "this is not funny" and takes the (not loaded) gun out of my hand and puts it back.





Eve's bouncing around with excitement, and before long she's picked out a pop on an AK47 and a go on a pistol. I didn't even really know what an AK47 was (except for having used one in Grand Theft Auto - the computer game) until he pulls the huge gun off the racks and places it on its stand. We're issued with proper serious ear-protectors and eve lines herself up. And shoots.



The noise is unreal. In the headphones, it sounds like a massive 'WHOP' - dull and stunted. Without the headphones, its piercing. The cartridge pings out from the gun and you can hear the bullet rip through the target wall at the other end of the firing range. Eve reels with the shock. Sam and I back off. She's got 20 rounds to fire. Before long she's firing 3 at a time, still blistering our ear-drums with each round and a shower of cartridges spraying from her. The perfect purple nails wrapped arond the trigger make the whole thing so surreal.





Its funny. I've seen guns on tv. I've had one in my face in mexico. I never knew they were so bloody loud. its unreal.



Anyway, she's not the best aim i've ever seen, but she managed to hit the guy square in the head which is pretty impressive. Next she's onto the pistol and firing of rounds like a professional. Aim's all off again, but she looks amazing.



And then she goes and points the gun into my face. As if I'm not haunted by this stuff already, she whizzes around and points it right at me. I duck like a girl and through my ear-protectors I can hear myself shouting "what the f--- are doing?", much to the amusement of the guys who worked there. The guns not loaded. Its fine. Stupid girl.

And then we're done and eve's smiling from ear to ear. like a bit mental. blood thirsty. I dunno. she's always mental like that. anyway, we head back, just in time to do some more charity work with the local kids. Its amazing - again. More photos, more favourites, more bruises from the little brats climbing all over us. And even more rewarding. This stuff is amazing.







And to finish the day we eat pizza, laugh about the guns and await the imminent arrival of TOM!



This is what I like about travelling. Its not just about who you meet, its about how often you meet them. So here goes: we met tom in brazil. then we met eve in new zealand. then in new zealand we saw tom again, and it seems eve had met him in Argentina. we all saw each other in Queenstown (NZ) (except sam), then we (not eve) met tom in sydney. we then met eve in sydney again, left her in melbourne, then saw her again in veitnam, and now we're in cambodia and tom emails to say he's HERE, and coming to meet us. you got that, right?

So, tom arrives, we laugh for hours, catching up on his hedonistic life in sydney, and the next day sam takes him on a vip tour of all the things we did last week - S21, Killing fields, shooting range etc. while eve and I head to the russian market which sells local clothes. It seems that its perfectly acceptable in cambodia to wear pyjamas. On motorbikes, to the shops, in the streets. Women EVERYWHERE and children EVERYWHERE don't wear clothes. they wear pyjamas. so, being a bit of an idiot, I bought myself some shorts and played along. Neon green with thai letters on them - they're perfect. I now look like a white street kid - minus the dirty hands and face.



and then the evening descends and tom and I hit the local nightclub. Its called "the heart of darkness" and stricks fear into sam's heart with its thorough door-search policy (they're looking for drugs, knives and guns according to the sign), so she stays home. We're not afraid though, and managed to rope an old gay dude to come too. He's a bit creepy, so we're kinda ignoring him as we dance to the bizarre mix of very old and very new pop, when suddenly he shoots off out the front door with an 18-year-old looking prostitute boy. He was cute too. creepy.

and then tom and I get drunk, decide its time to leave, at which point I head for a final wee. and when I stumble back, he's deep in conversation with the (above) girl, and invites her and her mate back to our hostel. OK - this is mortifying. Tom's totally at liberty to do what he wants with who he wants. But there's been a huge misunderstanding. Tom, the self-confessed homophobe, seems to have assumed that I'll take his girl's best friend off his hands, so he can get dirty with his girl. But, as you should all know by now, is not my style.



anyway, we head back to the hostel (tom has his own room) and sit with the girls for about an hour. They speak NO english. none. we speak no khmer. My girl (she's not mine by choice, remember) clings to my shoulder. I edge off the bed onto the floor. She's confused. she comes and sits next to me on the floor. I explain that I'm seeing someone. she's not phased. tom's kissing, so I'm basically on my own. I show her photos to prove I'm seeing someone. This confuses her. Why am I kissing a boy? She points, asking if the other boy is Tom. I laugh. Its not. She's persistant. For a whole hour, I'm trying to keep her at bay, and she's feeling rejected. I could kill Tom for this.

And eventually I make my excuses and go to leave for my own room. My girl stands up. I'm like "no, sorry". gesturing for her to stay put. she's confused. unhappy. I slip out the door and don't return. In the morning we find out that after I left, tom's girl asked him for some cash to stay the night. he declined. the girls left. he's a beast.



Anyway, enough of Phnom Penh. We book ourselves on a morning bus ride 6hours north to the town of Kratie (nobody seems to know how to pronounce this place, but I think its krach-eh) where apparently we can swim with dolphins in the mekong... sure - if you wanna catch dissentry.