Day 260 - Yungang Caves, Datong

Thsese dudes are massive...



So, after the hanging monastry (which is only the *2nd* most impressive tourist trap in Datong), we decided to check out the Yungang Caves, a series of 45 caves, 20 minutes out of Datong, that house - get this 51,000 buddha statues. Now, I don't know about you, but the fact that it houses "51,000 buddha statues" means nothing to me. Firstly, I have no idea how many 51,000 is. I mean, 5,000 is ok. I can kinda picture 5,000. But 10,000 and I start to lose track. 51,000 and I have NO IDEA how many that is. Surely its, like, a stupid amount. ridiculous. Anyway, there I am, picturing a set of natural caves on a hillside, loaded with little painted ornamental buddhas. How wrong was i?

We decided on the non-tourist approach again, so after waving a lonely planet (with the chinese symbols for Yungang Grottoes in it) under the noses of some bus drivers, we eventually got on the number 3-1 and headed out of town to a nearby coal mining town. Its kinda grim, and run-down. Much as you'd expect, I guess. But we get off, head past the open brief-cases of buddha ornaments and tacky fake-jade necklaces. and into the deserted park where we're faced by a wall of cliff, dotted with tiny cave entrances etched into them.



We wander to the start of the 45-cave circuit. Its kinda impressive. Not AMAZING. But impressive. The caves are not very deep, but covered in etching of buddhas, dragons, pagodas and important looking dudes. most of the buddhas faces have weathered off by the rain or air pollution or something, so some of them are kinda grim looking. And in the middle of the caves are stone pillars shaped like ancient pagodas. I like it.



And a few more caves like that later, and we're kinda bored. until we find this cave...



Its creepy. and empty. and hollow and scary. and the steps are inviting us to wander in. and there's no one around to stop us, or tell us not to, or save us from the murderers/tigers/spiders that lurk inside. I'm shitting myself. Sam's nervous - but willing. We creep in. To find this...


[check me out, stood at the bottom]

Its enormous right. This man-made cave is probably about 20m high, with a perfect flat ceiling of rock. Its cavernous, echoey. And the buddha, flanked by two smaller dudes on either side, one caught scarily in the sun, peers out of a window in the rock over Datong and the coal-mines. Standing at the bottom, I don't even reach half-way to his knee. Its immense. And all the while, we're creeping around this place like uninvited guests. There's stone-carved corridors to explore, but they're all blocked. so we take the photos and leave. in awe.

Its said that no-one leaves this place unwowed. which is true. Its special. I'm being careful not to gush about it, because it was kinda boring. its samey. The rest of the caves don't differ much. There's small ones...



...there's huge ones...



...there's little ones with THOUSANDS OF BUDDHAS on them (no wonder they racked up 51,000)...



...really knackered ones that look SO wrong...



...and then there's two massive outside dudes, exposed to the elements are rotting as we speak. All in all, its amazing. the work, the effort, the skill. but hey, its like the terracotta army. impressive on paper - a bit lame in the flesh. number one tourist trap in Datong - number 2 for me. The monastry was way better. But maybe just because my life was in danger. i dunno.



anyway, we left the caves and went in search of the Datong "great wall", a segment which hasn't been destroyed yet about 10 minutes from the entrance to the caves. did we find it? don't be stupid. we ask some dude. he shakes his head like we've just asked for a knife to cut our throats. we ask some shopkeeper, who puts down his uzi that he was polishing (wtf?) and calls over his taxi driving mate. we explain - no taxi please - and he points us in the opposite direction to the instructions in the lonely planet. we try both. for an hour. and don't find even a sniff of the great wall of china. which is fine, cos apparently its a rubbish, crumbling mess anyway. and i've already been, so screw the wall.





and as if all 51,000 buddhas got together to kick my ass in some kinda of kharmic-retribution backlash, we ended the day in a horrendous hard-seat night train, getting no sleep with no leg room and no warmth, and ending the horrendous journey trying to find a cab that would take us to a hostel in beijing at 6 in the morning when its -5 degrees outside. which took ages. But eventually we made it into a bed, and for half the price of nights accomdation we slept for 4 hours, cabbed back to the train station and set off on a 7 hour journey to Taishan - home of a massive (and most) sacred mountain in China, which I plan on climbing solo sometime in the next couple of days. i'm mental. damn right.

Day 259 - The Hanging Monastry, Datong

Every now and then, you strike gold...



So, Sam and I are sat in Xian, back off the Terracotta Army trip, which you might know I kinda hated. And we're discussing where to go next. We had a choice. We could go south, see some panda's, but then getting back to Beijing might have been a hassle. We could go to Taian, site of china's most sacred, and scalable, mountains. Or we could go to Datong - outback, dusty, cold and challenging (there's very little tourist infrastructure there apparently). So what do we do - we choose Datong.

Datong is a 6 hour train ride west of Beijing, so after watching the new Willy Wonka film (what's with the sucky ending about finding a family?), we jump on a night train and head north to Beijing, arriving at 6am to the blistering cold of winter. Our connection to Datong isn't for 8 hours, so we head back to our old hostel and play some cards in the warm before heading off on the hard-seat journey to Datong, packed in like sardines into the carriages reserved for locals. Its grim - they smoke on the train, they spit on the floor (after hacknig up half their lungs first - a common occurance in china), the spill noodles on their laps and kids scream the whole way. Its smells SO BAD, and its freezing, and SO UNCOMFORTABLE. Seriously, unless you're going for the authentic travelling experience in china, aviod the hard-seat carriages.



But we made it, and scooted across the street to the nearest hotel and bundled into a dorm room (i.e. 4 beds in a room with no facilities, sharing the staff toilet and showers), where we met a wicked girl who was staying in the same room. She's funny, easy to get on with, and speaks a little mandarin, so the next day we get up early ready to head to the famed Hanging Monastry with her.

Datong boasts two attractions - the first and most respected is its Buddhist caves, caved out of the surrounding hillside and adorned with over 50,000 carvings of buddhas. shocker. that's a lot. The second, and less well-received, is its Hanging Monastry. That said, for 100 yuan (7 quid), you can jump on a tourist bus and visit the caves, the monastry and a jade factory, all in one day, and with the comfor of no chinese people spitting on your shoes and no hassle getting cabs and buses. But we're not here for that. So we wrap up warm, hit the road and start trying to make our way 1 hour out of town to the monastry.

First we're bundled on a bus by a local, responding to our "Xuankong Si" calls (the name of the monastry). We pay up, take a seat, laugh at how easy that was, then get bundled off 3 stops later and pointed down a road. 10 minutes later we're bundled onto another bus, which we suddenly realise is a tour bus and is going to rip us off (it wasn't) so start shouting "TING!" (stop) at the driver and bundle ourselves off. Then we're hassled excessively by taxi drivers, so much so we jump on the next bus, which is a small 14-seater minibus. Its smokey, stinky and tiny. And after paying up and getting comfortable, it stops to pick up half of china. In the end we had 28 people on the bus, sat on tiny wooden stools in the aisles and croching at the front so the driver can see his mirrors. It was mental. And then, a hour later, we're dropped off outside a taxi which offers to drive us to the monastry for 30yuan (it should have been 10yuan - ripped).

But we made it. And this is what we saw...



Perched - literally sliding off - the mountain side is this amazing monastry - stacked in places 3 storeys high and dripping with ancient, religious charm. Its freezing, and we're starving, so we jump into a restaurant (which rips us off AGAIN) before donning our gloves and beginning the small scale to the foot of the monastry.







Now, I love stuff like this. Its old - 1400 years - and yet tourists can still clamber over it. Some of the staircases are held up with mere wedges under the supports, and the whole thing creaks with age as you carefully pick your footing on the hanging balconies around the outsides of the gorgeously adorned rooms of buddhist deities and gods.



My fear of heights kicks in at one point, enough that I want to turn back, but I carry on, edging my way around the one-way system of narrow paths. Its magical, and we're here all alone, except for a group that arrive just as we start our descent. Its charming and captivating, and surrounding by a jaw-dropping gorge and dam, complete with frozen ice flows seeping from holes in the rock. I scoot up the concrete steps lining the side of the gorge to the top of the dam and stare out over the frozen lake.









The return journey is somewhat more comfortable, taking the same cab back to the nearby town and a nicer bus which affords us some sleep. And then its a mammoth internet session to end the day, making use of the faster-than-beijing connection and ability to check my myspace without crashing the computer.

Day 256 - The Terracotta Warriors, Xian

Scary...



OK, so getting to Xian, about 10 hours south-west of Beijing on a night train, was probably the most-fun part of our 2-day trip to the Shanxi province. Originally planning on continuing south for a week, our beijing hostel has scared us to death about the impending New Year celebrations and lack of available train tickets, so we're heading away for just a couple of days. Anyway, we're booked on a night-train - this means two things for certain - no sleep and no comfort. Picturing an dirty carriage with 4-storey bunks, no blankets, no pillows, wooden beds and open windows, neither of us was looking forward to the journey - until we 'checked in' to our dorm...



how awesome is this. right, it was SO NICE. shockingly nice. warm and soft and cushioned. we had our own tvs with 10 channels. hot water on tap. clean (squat) toilets. a door to keep the riff-raff out and even a wake-up call at 6am. it was sweet. and whilst sam didn't sleep at all, i slept like a baby. perfect. we also got to watch our favourite tv programme "just for laughs. gags", aired in south america and seemingly in china too.



arriving in Xian was cool. the city is flanked on all side by its beautiful and imposing city walls, which circle the city centre, failing to hold in the sprawling metropolis that Xian now is. Its huge - 6.6 million people - and if it wasn't so flat, I reckon you could see it sprawling as far as the eye can see. That's something that's quite subtle in china - there's literally millions and millions of people. Towns that look no bigger than brighton house ten times as many citizens. And whilst the cities are huge, you wouldn't know there were that many people. until you enter the shops, where there are 8 check-out staff when one person could do all the work. In each of the multitude of hair-dressing salons scattered around our hutong in beijing are HOARDS of staff. maybe 10 or 12 staff, just hanging around. Its mental. I'm writing this from Datong, a small town between Beijing and Xian, where we are staying in a hotel which employs a solitary woman on EACH FLOOR of the hotel, just to unlock your door for you and clean your rooms. Its weird.

Anyway, the city is huge, and after arriving at our very central hostel, we dump our bags and head around town to spy what the shops have to offer. Its cute - we wander the highstreet for 3 hours, scouring music shops for chinese techno (all I got was shitty disco), sam bought some SARS masks, which is hugely popular out here. especially Hello Kitty ones. and I bought some rip-off sony headphones, which stopped working after 20 minutes. 2 quid wasted.

The next day was our shot at the warriors. now, word on the street is that Terracotta Army is a bit of let-down. Just a bit museum and not the awe-inspiring spectacle that it should be. To be honest, I'm not that fussed about super-touristy stuff anyway, unless you can get up-close and personal with the goods. But, that said, we couldn't come this close and not see them. some form of ancient artefact peer-pressure. Anyway, after wandering around for ages like idiots looking for the right bus, in the blistering cold, we hop on and an hour later we're jumping off at the entrance to the compound.



The whole place is disgustingly big. The museum is about a kilometre from the car park, and you have to walk through this maze of hideous tourist shops selling replica terracotta men, a scattering of pushy tour guides who insist "you will learn NOTHING if you don't have me as guide", and the sound of a chinese Kate Bush being piped around the park. Its kinda depressing, especially when the shops are offering little terracotta dudes for less than 5p each.

Anyway, we make it to the front of the park and after storming around the dull and badly presented museum, we head for Pit 1...



Right. Its big. That's the first thing that gets you. And there's a good number of the lifesized dudes. We push our way to the barriers to get a better look, take some photos, smile coyly at each other, and start walking. The thing is I don't wanna upset anyone who's been, or planning on going, or always wanted to go. But they're a bit rubbish. Ok, AMAZING. an ancient wonder. an unbeliveable about of hard work (all to protect the grave of a dead king). shocking that they have been restored so amazingly well. but a bit dull.





right, there's not THAT many of them. and they're about 30m away from where you are, so its hard to really see them in detail. and they're a bit... dare i say it... basic. i dunno. I wasn't overly bothered about seeing these bad boys when we made the journey to Xian, but actually seeing them didn't change my impression too much. I feel bad. I'm supposed to be wowed. Instead, we trundled around the other (rubbish) pits, and hopped on the hour long bus journey back to Xian city centre. Nice photos. Nice work by the archeologists. Could be better though.



And after lazing around for a day, wandering the streets of the Xian and the beautiful Muslim district (not a muslim in sight though), we jumped on another night train heading back to Beijing. Next stop - Datong - home to some old chinese history and loads of buddhist statues. whoop whoop.

Day 252 - The Summer Palace, Beijing

This is SO MUCH cooler than the Forbidden City...



Right, travelling in China is a little bit different to everywhere else. South America is great because no matter what your plans, timescale or level of social skils, you'd quickly pick up a group of people to travel with and would never be on your own for long. New Zealand and Australia are trickier - but its totally possible if you're flexible (most people have travel plans pre-booked, so you need to fit in with the cool ones to stick with them). But here its tough. Its so cold, and there's hardley any backpackers at this time of year. And the travellers are loads more independant. Also, the country doesn't lend itself to travel in one direction - people scatter around all over the place going from Beijing to Xi'an, Shanghai, Hong Kong, Tibet and Mongolia.

So, its kinda quiet here in Beijing as far as our social life goes. So to make up for it, Sam and I have been eating in the same AMAZING and CHEAP restaurant every night for the last 5 nights. Sick. Seriously though, everywhere else is like 4 quid a meal. Here, you can get a massive meal for 2 people for under a quid. and its amazing. AMAZING. The food is so good. If you're in beijing, get to the Nanluogu Xiang Hutong and head for 'Drum and Gong'. Its unreal.

Anyway, aside from embarrassingly going to the same restaurant every night, we've been up to a few other things. We took a 20 minute cab across town to the weekly flea market which had the most amazing chinese stuff you've ever seen. Edward-Scissorhand-style gloves for cutting paper, buddha statues made of marble, everything imaginable printed with chairman mao's face, mahjongg-brick bracelets and marlborough-light-packet ashtrays.



The poor attempt at taking a photo doesn't even come close to how cool this place was. But the bitter winter wind destroyed our spirits and after an hour (and a few rediculously high price offers) we took a long walk through this beautiful park and got a cab home.

On Monday we decided to go and check out Chairman Mao's dead body, which has been incarcerated (against his and his families will) in a glass box inside Tiananmen Square. Our hostel leaflet says we're 'minutes' from the square, but we're actually about an hour's walk from it. So we did the long walk, with our feet turned into blocks of ice and our fingers about to drop off, and when we got there we found that the place is shut on Mondays. Along with the two museums on the square. great. so we walked back. then went out for dinner again (of course).

But Tuesday was a total highlight. The Forbidden City, in the centre of Beijing, was something of a disappointment for both me and sam. It was just plain boring. Kinda pretty, but nothing that special. On TV, its colourful and vivid and empty of tourists and sparkling in the sun. In the flesh, its overrun, grey and smoggy, lifeless and in the process of being renovated. Nothing special. So when we decided to go to the Summer Palace, we kinda expected much of the same.



Now, a cab there is about 4 quid. Neither sam nor I can afford to pay that when the bus there is 14p. So we get the bus number from reception, get them write down the name of our destination in chinese characters, and hop on the number 834. Its SO embarrassing not being able to speak the language. But I thrust the piece of paper under the drivers nose and he studies it for about 30 seconds (they all seem to take ages to read here - taxi driver too) then waves us onto the bus.

Its rammed with chinese people. Half asleep at the back. The other half staring at us. I literally can't tell you what its like to be in china and to be a western person. Every 4th person STARES AT YOU. solidly. unashamedly. sometimes with a grimace. sometimes with a laugh. the odd chinese girl will shout 'HERRO' at me from across the street, but mostly its just stares. it can be a bit creepy actually, but we're used to it. but on the bus, it was mad. I didn't know where to look. Sam takes a seat, I stay standing, and all eyes are on duncan. But 45 minutes later, we're shooed off the bus by the female conductor and pointed in the right direction.



So, first impressions were a bit rubbish. Its spread over a hillside overlooking a lake, and there's no sign of a lake, and the usual grey, peeling, unimpressive temples litter our view. But pretty soon its different. One temple is full of 20 massive stone sculptures of scary looking buddhist deities - some holding dragons and dogs and stuff like that. The others are spread across this hillside with hundreds of rocks inbetween, with little paths and tunnels weaving through them.





As we approach the summit of the hill, we see the reason why this place is so amazing. An enormous frozen lake stands at the bottom of the hill, overlooked by some beautiful temples and pagodas, gleaming alive in the reflection of the setting sun. It dazzling. People are scattered across the ice, wandering from one side of the lake to the other, where a beautiful bridge spans the ice with 12 arches under it.







We slowly meander down the hillside to the level of the ice, where we venture out to wander over to the island, but underfoot its a bit creaky, so sam decides to bail out. We later found out that its only 2 feet deep, but still. We walk around and catch the beautiful sunset against the backdrop of the bridge's hundred statues of lions. And two hours later we're home after another amusing bus ride.





Two of the guys we met, Phil and Rix from Denmark, seem to be a very bad influence on me - getting me totally blind drunk one night (I have video evidence of asking some dude if I could do karaoke, but him only having chinese songs - I NEVER DO KARAOKE). My last memory was at 11pm when Rix pulls out a vacuum-packed chicken foot and I draw the card which means I have to eat it. I didn't. And then two nights later, me and Rix end up spending 4 hours in some bar drinking tequila shots "the irish way" - where you snort the salt, drink the tequila and sqeeze the lemon in your eye. Embarassingly we returned to the hostel at 4am, laughing like school kids and waking everyone in the 8-bed dorm up.





I also went to get my beard trimmed - one of my favourite backpacking experiences. Yeah yeah, I could buy a beard trimmer. but its so cool, walking into a place where you don't speak the language and don't know the customs, and asking to have your beard trimmed. On this occassion, they wanted to firstly wash my hair (cheeky) - i said no. Then they wanted to cut my hair - i said no. then comb my hair - come on. but eventually they just trimmed my beard. labouriously for 25 minutes. and then after being stared at for the whole time by the staff, I was asked to pose for a photo with the hairdresser who had clearly never cut a western person's hair. It was sweet.

The whole reason we've been staying in Beijing for so long was because we forgot to apply for our vietnamese visas in advance, so had to do it here. and they're taking a week to be processed, and you shouldn't travel china without your passport. But the week is up and after collecting our visas (man - my passport has SO MANY STAMPS in it now) we get a cab to the train station where we're heading for Xi'an, home of the Terracotta Warriors.

Day 249 - The Great Wall of China

How great is this...



So my alarm goes off at 6:30am, I stumble out of bed, throw on about 6 layers of clothes and head bleary eyed to reception where the bus is waiting to take me to the Great Wall of China. The thing about china is that whilst there's LOADS of stuff to do here, there's only a couple of things you really associate with china. The Great Wall, of course. The Terracotta Warriors. Some great cities - Hong Kong, Shanghai, Beijing. But that's kinda it. Yeah, a trip on the Yangtze River wouldn't go amiss, but I don't think we'll make that on this trip. So really, today was gonna be a highlight for me. If not because its one of the only things I knew about china before coming here, but also because its supposed to be totally amazing. So yeah, I decided to book myself on a 9km hike over the wall from Jongaling to Simatai - two remote, unrestored and crumbling sections of the wall that offer a more unique (aka less touristy) experience than some of the sites nearer to Beijing. Sam (who doesn't hike) has opted for a bus tour, so after a brief farewell in reception, I'm asleep in the back of the minibus with 2 canadian girls heading towards the wall - 2 hours north of the city.



It pretty cold up here - there's a sparse covering of snow and a chill in the air that makes my teeth chatter before i've even stepped out of the minibus. Its bitter, and despite wearing as much as I possibly could, my nose goes numb before the rest of my body slowly turns to ice. A public toilet (contender for most disgusting public toilet ever) has a trough of frozen yellow ice which I add to whilst bouncing around to warm up. But before long, we're walking up the path towards the wall.



I think its not unique to china, but its something I strongly associate with it. Here, the misty, smoggy cloud cover makes the surrounding mountains look awesome - each mountain a different shade of grey, fading to near-white for the furthest peaks. And here, approaching the wall from below, every different shade has the sillouette of watch towers and sections of wall along it as far as you can see. Its amazing. Although its still SO COLD.





Anyway, uphill for 20 minutes takes my breath away so I can't talk, but fills my body with enough heat to be able to concentrate on the impending hike and not question whether I was going to survive. Our female guide is accompanied by 3 woman with bulky bags - obviously prepped to sell us something. One approaches me and in her best english insists that "we walk wall with you. then you buy book. ok?". I laugh, show her my 20 yaun note (just over a quid) and make it pretty clear that its all I have. She seems unphased.



And with that, we take our first steps onto the wall. What can i say - right, its exactly how you would expect it. From photos, documentaries, david copperfield illusions. Exactly. Its about 20ft wide, stepped in places, undulating over the watershed of the mountains. This whole section has been clearly restored for tourists, but we can see that just 2 or 3 watchtowers into the distance the wall starts crumbling and the watchtowers are falling apart. Its exciting. And our guide points at the furthest watchtower we can see, miles away, and states "tower 20. we go 30". And we start walking.



The rest is pretty much history. We walked for about 5 hours, through varying states of the walls condition. At first its like a scene out of Labyrinth, with twisted staircases and crumbling walls. At times, one whole side of the wall has been destroyed and we're picking out footsteps carefully to avoid a slip into the thick bushes just metres below. It can be SO STEEP - so steep that you have to use your hand and feet to clamber up the broken rock surface. And going downhill is more scary than up, because the path is so smooth and steep that just the littlest bit of ice would leave you on your backside. and sliding.





We probably passed about 30 people on the whole hike. which is amazing. For almost all of the time, we were alone on the wall. away from the crowds and those annoying people who insist on standing in the line of your camera lens. it was silent too - no loud americans, no laughing school kids. The sun was shining, and the trek meant we were shedding layers at every watchtower, and the silence made it peaceful. The loudest noise, apart from the regular banter with the two great canadian girls (kim and deanna) I went with, was the sound of rocks scraping under foot.



About 2 hours in, our guide disappears and we're left alone with the 3 women who want to sell us stuff. There're pretty pushy and after 10 minutes of explaining that I only had 20 yuan (just over a quid) left, they eventually took my money in exchange for some postcards and sulked off. I liked their style though - follow us over rough terrain, point out a couple of interesting facts ("here - mongolia. here - china") then corner us and demand money for being faux-guides. They kinda deserved it just for having to walk up the final incline, which was something like 150 steps at a 60degree angle. But I never condone tourist-bullying, so after they left we stopped feeling guilty that they were following and enjoyed the remainder of the hike.





And 3 hours later we came to the end of the hike at Simatai. There's a 1.5km walk back to the car park, or a 3 quid zip line down across a lake, so we opted for the overpriced zip line and bombed down to the car park in less than 30 seconds. And some trail mix and rice crispy cakes later we were asleep in the minibus (again) heading back to Beijing.



I loved the great wall. And i loved that it wasn't overrun by tourists. and I love that at points I was 4km from the nearest road. I love that the rubbish bins stopped after 5 watchtowers, and started again just before the end. I love that we met some lone dude sat with his stuff right in the middle of the trek, and after we passed, he wandered off in the opposite direction. slowly. I loved seeing the wall's watchtowers scattered across the horizon, and stepping over the crumbling remains of once impressive, 3-storied towers. The scale of the wall is immense - in 5 hours we trekked 0.002% of the wall's length. And this thing is massive. And it must have been hard work. There's something about it, right. Something amazing. So yeah - i loved the great wall.

Day 248 - Tiananmen Square, Beijing

Welcome to the biggest public square in the world...



So, after sorting a couple of formailties (i.e. getting visas to enter vietnam in 2 weeks - something we should have done months ago), its time to check out what Beijing has to offer. We don ourselves in as many layers as can fit under our hoodies, scarves, hats and gloves and two pairs of socks to brave the winter extremes and walk the hour long journey into the very centre of Beijing where the so-called 'largest public square in the world' stands.

And its huge. And pretty boring. Right - I'm always impressed by cities that devote huge areas to public space - Lima, Buenos Aires, Sydney to name a few. But this is mental. The square goes on for miles, and whilst its known to be an almost perfect expression of feng shui (a concept that baffles me somewhat) severely lacks any character or charm. And the city smog hanging low over the museum and war statue make it feel opressive. Guards stand at every entrance, bums search through bins for food and people stare longingly at the image of Chairman Mao hanging over the entrance to the Forbidden City.



Now, I never really knew what went on at Tiananmen Square in 1989. Except that tanks entered the square to deal with a bunch of rowdy revolutionary students. And there's no point looking on the internet here - still gripped by its communist roots the internet here is (a) horrendously slow and (b) filtered by a goverment firewall which prevents any anti-chinese propaganda or information about china's abusive past. No BBC news, No wikipedia. In fact, most american sites are banned and ANY historical or factual information containing the word 'Tiananmen' seems to be blocked.

But what little info I do know is this. Since the 70s the chinese people have been hassling the (albeit watered-down) communist government to move towards more democratic political reforms and greater press freedom (I second that). And demostrations started kicking off, peacefully that is, around the mid 80s. But it was in 1989 when some dude in the goverment (who supported some of the more democratic ideologies) died after being ignored by the goverment for a number of years. Everyone was gutted, so took to the streets and thousands of workers and students filled Tiananmen Square to further press the government into a more democractic approach.



But despite being a peaceful protest, the premier at the time ordered his army to forcibly remove the protesters, and the tanks rolled in. Hundreds were killed. You're not allowed to ride a bike through the square, but it seems tanks are totally acceptable. Standing on the square, site of not just one scene of bloodshed but many over china's checkered history, its hard to imagine life for these people, who now live under a continued communist totalitarian regime, but now dogged by capitalism (which is making the poor even poorer). I dunno what its like for the people here. I imagine the youth have plenty to look forward to - this country has a lot of promise if it can sort its problems out. But for everyone else, its not looking good. I'll try and get some insight while I'm here though.

Anyway, enough of the history lesson. Tiananmen square is actually pretty boring. But its big and impressive and steeped in a history of people who just wanted something a bit better out of life. Anyway, we had a wander around then headed towards the Forbidden City - the Buckingham Palace of Beijing.





First you have to go through the 'gate of heavenly peace' with a massive portrait of Chairman Mao hanging over the top. Its funny. There's more chinese here taking photos of themselves with Mao in the background than were at the Big Jesus in Rio. But we wander through and soon we've paid 2 quid to get into the complex which is loaded with old chinese temples and frozen rivers everywhere. Its a bit grey and rubbish here - and to top it off the bggest and most impressive temples are covered in scaffolding. But we have a wander round - mostly keeping moving to stop ourselves from freezing to death - and wander back to the hostel a bit 'templed-out'.





Tomorrow I'm booked on a 9km hike of the Great Wall of China. I'm literally pissing myself with excitement. Sam (who doesn't hike) is doing a bus tour, so maybe we'll cross paths on the wall, but until then its sweet and sour pork balls for me and a game of chinese checkers.

247天-中国北京 (Day 247 - Beijing, China)

Ni hao!



OK, so before we get to the china part, a quick recap of the last few days. Stuck in Perth without any chinese visas, sam and i resort to riding around the city on the free bus to relieve our boredom. Overcast and dull as hell, the days are long, and the pool water too cold. Its sick. We're supposed to be enjoying ourselves. Luckily, the weather smartens up for our last day, which is spent browning ourselves by the pool and practising our chopstick usage ready for china. A few drinks to celebrate our send off from australia, and we're on the flight heading towards Hong Kong.

Which is SO NICE. Right, I only have the airport to comment on, seeing as the fog is so thick outside we can't even see outside of the airport. Even the landing was dogged by the fog, so not even a glimpse of the city. But. getting off the plane, you know things are gonna be different. It subtle at first - everyone in the airport speaks English, so it doesn't feel any different to, say, south america. But checking into our next flight was an almost silent process. The standard "take my belt off for the security check and my trousers fall down" joke doesn't raise a laugh. And getting airport information is such a more laboured process.



But the real difference is the food. Sam and I glide up the escalators (which announce "please hold the handrail" in 4 different languages as you step on) to the food hall to be confronted with a raft of chinese fast food joints. Every one has boards of dishes, with cantonese descriptions and a number. Half don't have prices. Half look like a bowl of pondwater. And the other half a non-descript, indistinguishable mess of rice, orange stuff and red and green peppers. We amble around for at least 30 minutes, no idea what to do if we even did make it to the front of the swarming queues. But eventually we step up and I utter the embarrassing "do you speak english?" question, that I wish I never had to say.



"of course" is the response. how embarrassing. I cover it up by ordering my food as quickly as possible and keeping my head down. And ten minutes later, Sam's tucking into some noodle soup with chopsticks (which she can't use very well) and I have a large bowl of rice which is going everywhere (because I can't use chopsticks very well either). Its rubbish. You can feel the chinese laughing at our inability to even eat rice without dropping half of it in our laps, all while I'm scouring the lonely planet for the right way to eat noodles with chopsticks (have you tried it?). Anyway, eating fiasco over, we have 12 hours to wait in the Hong Kong airport, so I find a cute book store (half cantonese and half english) and I browse the stalls for hours until the shop shuts and its time to get some sleep before the flight to beijing. Favourite moment - stumbling across a copy of ID magazine with my mate Casper's mix in it (I told you it'd be a big year for you mate).



I don't get any sleep however. I can't sleep in airports and stuff, and before we know it we're landing in Beijing International Airport and I've been awake for 24hours. Wired and freezing (its -5 degrees outide) we've arranged a free pickup by our hostel and we're whizzed through the city at 6am. Its amazing how no matter where you are in the world, leaving an airport always looks the same. The same familar motorways, tollbooths, highrise Marriot hotels. Even the roadsigns are all in english as well as mandarin (northern china - mandarin, southern china - cantonese). But before long we're driving down the streets of central china, past streets lined with red lanterns, massive neon signs of mandarin characters, ornate chinese buildings, huge stone lions. And literally HUNDREDS of people on bikes.



Right, its unbelievable the amount of bikes here. Unbelievable. They must outnumber cars at least 3 to 1. There's hundreds. And they don't have lights. Or cycle lanes. Or any desire to survive their cycle to work by the look of it. Cars and bikes merge into one huge mess, with bikes claiming AS MUCH of the road as they wish, moving over only for a car horn blowing behind them. And junctions are carnage.



But we make it to the hostel without killing anyone and after checking in, sam and I get our heads down for some well-earned rest before heading out into the surrounding district to check it out. we're staying in one of beijing's Hutong's (which literally means 'narrow alley'). i guess the closest english equivalent is a run-down council estate. Its old and crumbling, with tiny alley ways only just big enough for one direction of traffic to navigate past the throng of cyclist and rickshaws passing by. They're SO BEAUTIFUL, and ooze the character and lifeblood you would expect from what is in effect an inner-city slum. But because this is what they are, the chinese government has a policy to demolish these districts in a bid to modernise the city. Systematically destroying their heritage and character in the run-up to the Olympics (being hosted here next year - 2008), the chinese 'people' are divided about what should happen to them. But from a tourist's perspective, I see far more beauty here than I do in a raft of tower blocks - the replacement for these so-called 'embarrassments'.



Anyway, we spend the day wandering the local area - checking out tiny craft shops selling pieces of tracing paper cut into the most beautiful patterns. Seeing the hundreds of hairdressers with their tiny shops and hundreds of staff with shoreditch haircuts and trendy clothes. Trying to use ATMs when its all in mandarin. And seeing the familiar MacDonalds golden arches and promised of burgers for 45p. Even though there's a serious communication problem with a language that we can't even READ, we get by in shops and restaurants just fine. This place is enchanting - in a freezing cold, grey and dirty way. I think its gonna be good here.

Day 236 - Perth and Margaret River

Welcome to Western Australia.



So, airports and flights have now offically TOTALLY lost their novelty. I don't even think I get excited about take-off anymore, and that has ALWAYS been a winner. I guess after this many flights, they're bound to lose it sooner or later. Anyway, this time it was Melbourne to Perth. And we arrived on a hot and steamy day (you know that feeling when you get off the plane and the temperature HITS you in the face as you step out the door - we got that), transfered into town and checked in.



To a ghost town. Right, its PEAK SEASON here. And the streets are dead. We're in the CENTRE of the biggest city in western australia. 1 block from the pedestrianised city centre. And its dead. And after a night's sleep and a wander into town, its the same. This place is BORING. There's nothing to do in town. Apparently the beaches are nice, but they're like 30 minutes away. So yeah, the next 3 (overcast) days are spent loitering around the dull town centre sorting things out, hanging around the pool catching the sun 30% of the time or getting excited about china (which is right round the corner).



Anyway, we have a week here on the west coast, so we decide to head out of town. And a 6 hour bus journey later we end up in the very quaint town of Margaret River. Its hot - not uncomfortably though - and its cute and green and lazy. And for 2 days we lazed around town, hanging with the locals at the hugely popular karaoke night, watching movies and eating chicken.



And then we realised. Just 3 days before our flight to china, ady emails us about our vietnamese visas and it suddenly dawns on me that perhaps, just perhaps, we need visas for china.

And guess what. we do. I see the fear spread over sam's face. She's amazingly readable when she's scared. The colour drains from her cheeks and she looks like she's just been drafted into Iraq on the front-lines. She has this half-accusational, half-dumb-struck look - its amazing. And no matter how many times I say "its fine, we can sort it out", the look doesn't shift until she's happy its sorted. And that's exactly what we did. A quick call to the embassy tells us the bad news that we need to change our flights ($27.50 each), get passport photos ($8), stay an extra 2 nights ($48 rent) and pay for an emergency visa ($100). All in a country and place we were more than happy to leave. Killer. But its sorted. and that look melts away and she's back to her amazing bright self.

And so our last day is spent by the pool. Basking in the hot 28 degree sun. practising my diving techniques. turning more brown every hour. and relaxing before the onslaught of china (its 1 degrees daytime temperature at the moment there guys. expect me to complain A LOT).





Now, the whole look-of-fear I get from Sam only pops up really rarely. I mean only once every 2 months. Its rare. But it happens twice in 2 days. We arrived back in Perth at 9pm. Its dark. And deserted (as usual). We walk to the hostel we stayed in before, and its full. Great. Sam hints at the look. "its fine, we can sort it out". We walk to the next place. Its full too. And apparently the other place round the corner is too. Sam's hint-of-a-look becomes a full-on fearful glare. "its gonna be fine". We're directed into the less-than-impressive bar area of town where there is apparently a couple of hostels and the occasional gun-crime. And walking through town, a silent, angry, fearful Sam on one side and the most redneck, hillbilly weirdos on the other, we scour the streets for a hostel and eventually find one with just one twin-room with our name on it. Problem solves. Bright and amazing Sam restored.

So yeah, it seems Perth is not only dull as hell, but its LOADED with the weirdest freaks ever. The people here look like something out of deliverance. Friendly - yes. But missing teeth, hideous haircuts, yellowing fingers and stained moustaches, bog eyes, egg heads, limps, lumps and hunchbacks - yes. the lot. is it in-breeding? i dunno. but if you're into circus freakshows you should get down here for a saturday night on the town. those and slutty girls EVERYWHERE. fact.

we stayed in of course. sam's not drinking and I'm skint. and the next day we check out early to get out of this part of town and back into the boring (but regular) town centre. At least that place has a pool. which we make full use of (1 degrees in china guys - have sympathy).

And then last night I hop onto a bus and head down to the beach to catch the sunset over the indian ocean. I'm not that into sunsets, but its something you can easily take for granted. and I sit on the gorgeous cottesloe beach, along with the better-looking half of perth, and watch the birds bound around the red and orange sky, the body-boarders catch the last waves of the day, and the sun sneak behind the horizon to give you guys back home the day I just had.





This is probably my last blog from Australia. Its been mental. I've hated it, and I've loved it. I've come here with almost no money, and left with so much less. Its been SO MUCH FUN. and yet so unsatisfying at times. Gut feeling - i wish I'd stayed longer in sydney. And I wish I'd had time to do the rafting course in Tully. And stayed in melbourne for just a couple more days. Would I come back? Only for sydney. A little bit of my heart has been left there. But the rest of it? Somewhere else.

Onto China. Expect winter clothes, temples, tiny little chinamen and chopsticks. And maybe a renewed sense of adventure.

Day 233 - Melbourne

Goodbye sydney - Hello Ramsey Street!



So, its a new year and time to move on. 6 weeks in sydney has been AMAZING. Yeah, the first few weeks were a bit rubbish. pressure to get a job, not 'feeling' the city, all that stuff. But since that all went away, I've turned into the biggest sydney fan ever. Its the job. and the clubs. and the people. but yeah, I'm so hot for sydney these days. But I can't afford it. So I either stay, and sack in the rest of my trip. Or I go, move on, borrow more money, and globe-trot for the last 4 and a half months of my year away.

and on that note, please acknowledge that I have only FOUR AND A HALF MONTHS LEFT on my 12 month trip. How rank is that! Right, I'm sure I left like 2 months ago or something. not 7 and a half months ago. It doesn't add up. No wonder i have no money left.

Anyway, we're leaving so after spending a couple of lazy days sorting stuff out and packing everything up, spending time with Georgie (who I LOVE) and the kids from the flat (especially Sarah, Dan and Kirsty who I LOVE LOVE LOVE), I text everyone I know and get them all to come down to the rank Sidebar for a pint before I leave. which most of them do. And its raucous. At 5am I'm caught trying to sneak Jenna and james into my hostel via the building site at the back, and end up drunkenly falling asleep and having to pack my entire backpack up at 9 in the morning with a hangover strong enough to kill rats.



   



Anyway, despite the killer hangover, myself, sam and eve start mentally preparing ourselves for the most evil that rapes backpackers of their happiness and good will - the night bus. yes, sydney to melbourne is a mere 17 hours away on the cheapo bus, and its the first nightbus since my 40-hour special in south america. Its gonna be hell.

and it was. Right, I don't wanna complain too much because I know you have NO sympathy for me travelling the world for a year and only working for 3 of those 52 weeks. BUT, australian buses SUCK BALLS. No dvds (in south america EVERY bus had dvds), no reclining chairs, no headrests, aircon that makes the journey feel like its via the south pole, and no blankets or pillows. This bus SUCKS. AND, it costs about 3 times as much as in south america. I HATE AUSTRALIAN BUSES.

So yeah, as you can gather, a sleepless, painful, freezing night on a rubbish bus led to one good thing about the journey - opening my sore eyes to see the beauty of melbourne unfold before me. At 7am, with the sun just up, we're driving through the city and its NICE. The buildings are old school, colonial architecture, backdropped by huge skyscrapers and with a huge river carved through the metropolis in the foreground. Its nice. I have no good photos of it, but its SO NICE.

Melbourne seems to have a bit of a younger-brother complex towards sydney. It seems to think its the best city in the world, but can't seem to shake enough people away from sydney to its beautiful suburbs and gorgeous beaches. It KNOWS its cool. It just wants everyone to see it. Here's the advert for melbourne that is showing at cinemas all over australia. The first time I saw it, I thought it was for some parisian fashion house, or a new perfume or something. Its not. Its for Melbourne. But check out the city - its beautiful.



Anyway, after arriving and gawping at this place, we drop eve off at a hostel and shoot off in a cab to the Brunswick area of town to meet my old mate from Brighton, Mark...



Now, mark is amazing. he smiles at least 95% of his waking life (I reckon he smiles in his sleep too). He has dimples that look like gunshot wounds, and when he's not smiling its because he's laughing stupidly at comic strips, singing Belle and Sebastian songs or complaining about ignorant non-vegetarians. He's amazing. And he's agreed to put us up for 3 nights while we explore the city.

So he whisks us out round the arty quater of town (brunswick high street), and then into town to wander around the city centre and soak up the views as we cross the bridge. We end up wandering around St Kilda (where melbourne has the pleasure of having a beach) and eating at a vegetarian restauarant (anyone who knows me knows that this is a big deal for me). Its so cute. I love melbourne. Its old and homely and stacked with character.



And after going out to one of australia's ONLY gay indie nights (which was awesome I might add, despite neither of us being really in the mood for it), mark tells us that day two in melbourne would be spent on the set of NEIGHBOURS!



That's right. We pay our $40 (17 quid), hop on the neighbours bus and wait for our 'cast star' to turn up for a meet and greet. and today the star was LIBBY KENNEDY. I love it. she's been out of the show for, like, 3 years, and still comes back to meet fans. It wasn't toady, which I would have liked. Or harold bishop. But libby is good enough. and I flirted a bit with her - enough for her to wink at me and flirt back a little - and got her to sign my free Neighbours postcard, then we left her in search of THE ramsey street, via Erinsborough High School.







So Ramsey Street, or Pin Oak Court as its really knows, is tiny. Its about the right length, but you'd be lucky to get a fiat punto round it without having to do a 6-point turn. Its tiny. BUT, its totally exactly as you'd expect.





There's only 6 houses on the close, even though in the show the house numbers are all in the twenties. I liked how the number '2' is etched into the wood where the film crew come every monday and stick one on.



But aside from that its totally what you'd expect. The houses look the same as I remember them, and the tour guide knows everything that's every happened in any of the houses, right down to the order of people who lived there. I don't care much for neighbours, but being here is weird. I liked the security guard stood near Harold's house - apparently an english couple tried to shag in the buses around his house once, so since then they have to employ someone to keep the peace.



Anyway, the whole thing was nuts but I loved it. Probably not worth the 17 quid, but worth it for the fun. and being there was mental. its a well known fact that on a tuesday night in melbourne, you can pay the same price to spend the evening in a pub with some of the cast, specifically harold and toadie, and get drunk with them. Eve's on a mission to pull toadie, but sam and I will have gone by then. Oh well.

And day three was reading comics (mark has SO got us both into comics)...



...wandering the city again, this time exploring the museum (along with its RUBBISH sneaker exhibition which was SO RUBBISH)...







...wandering the botanical gardens and the war memorial...







...walking around some trendy streets, and seeing this in the window of an antique shop...



...and ending up in St Kilda to meet kris (who we met in peru) for a drink...







And early on day 4 we're packing our stuff up again and saying goodbye to mark, as we prepare to catch a flight to Perth - western australian. I heart melbourne. fact. If I had another month here, I'd hate myself for leaving sydney, but I'd wanna spend it here. Its so cool. Maybe a little too laid back for a boy like me, but I could maybe get used to that. If I come back to australia ever, expect me to rave on about how nice melbourne is up close.

Day 230 - Happy New Year!

So, since christmas day I've been pretty busy. I took Eve and Sam for a massive walk around the botanical gardens, opera house and harbour...




[what a muppet]

I walked from Bondi to Coogee beach, passing some amazing beaches with NO BATTERY in my camera (this is all I got)...







And I slept and ate food and did almost nothing else all week in the run up to new years. Although there was one salient feature of my week which stands out above all else. And that is the return of THE JENNA!



She's back. This time towing a 19-year-old canadian who gets WAY more attention than me. Anyway, I talk jenna into coming to Bandits with me (my favourite sydney night ever) and we end up getting SO TRASHED that she's standing on tables, I'm crawling around the place like a monster and we end up in the supermarket at 6am buying breakfast for sam. It was possibly one of the best night's I've had in sydney. I love that girl Jenna.











Anyway, onto the important stuff. So its New Years here. And I have to work. But not til 11pm. So Sam, Eve, Jenna, James and I camp out on my balcony and watch the city drive by as we down glasses of champs. I'm slowing down cos I have to work, but the girls are all fired up. Sam and Eve head off at 8ish to go and see Basement Jaxx play at Bondi Beach (I'm SO jealous), and Jenna promptly falls asleep, leaving me and james to finish the champs. And 2 hours later, my phone starts buzzing and its my boss calling to say I'm an hour late for work!





Anyway, the new years for me involved people barking "WATER!" at me as if english isn't my first language; getting way too wasted courtesy of the beautiful georgie and ending up pressing all the wrong buttons on the till and pouring drinks all over the place. It was funny though. And amazingly Sam and Eve turned up in the bar at 6am (the bouncers had let them in for free because they showed him photos of me on their cameras) and we had a quick dance before I poured my last drink and sat the rest of the night out with Georgie and Matt.





Right, words cannot explain how much I love these guys. I just do. And tonight was especially poignant. It was my last night at the bar, because on Tuesday I'm heading to melbourne for a few days and then onto Perth, followed by China. No more Matt and Georgie. No more Eddy my manager. No more Chats and no more louise. I'm gutted. I LOVE working here. I love the people. and I love being behind a bar again. and it feels like such a crime to be leaving. But it has to be done. I have COUNTRIES to visit. so I'm off. In two days I'm leaving for Melbourne and no-one can stop me. Especially not these two...



anyway, after a sad farewell, I headed out for a quick 10am coffee with Jenna and James, then headed home for bed at 11am on New Years Day. I'm so damn hardcore, I love it.